Conviction: A kind Invitation

We sat across the table over tea, and Dee Ann said, “What if the conviction we feel from God is really just a kind invitation from Him?”

The word “invitation” has changed everything for me. When Jesus captured my heart at 19 years old, I was honestly convinced that He loved me more than anyone. I don’t mean that in a prideful kind of way. I just was so keenly aware of how much I had been forgiven of, and our relationship was so tender and alive. Some say that you get your image of God through your earthly Father, and mine was the best. I was Daddy’s girl, and he was my biggest fan, so I assumed my heavenly Father had the same disposition towards me.

I don’t know when it happened over the next 20 years of walking with my Jesus. It must have been a slow and silent seeping of the lies into my heart. They went undetected until, at 44 years old, I didn’t want anything to do with this God I once loved. He was harsh, wrathful, and certainly was disappointed with me. Of course, I would never tell ANYONE that He felt that way about them. God is love. He is forgiving. He is FOR you. But not me.

You see, I had been given so much. I have a godly heritage, education, a husband who loves Jesus and loves me, six beautiful children, a lovely home, and even a really sweet dog. The least I could do is have my quiet time without fail, be the perfect wife, perfect mom (homeschool mom at that!), the most helpful daughter, have the cleanest house, do all the ministry things, be an awesome friend with all the right words at the right time, write all the thank you notes, and look fabulous doing it all. Except I was failing at all of it. I regularly said to myself, “Why can’t you just be awesome, Karna?” So obviously, God was disappointed.

But one day, I saw and experienced The Invitation: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NLT)

So what if what we interpret as conviction, commands, and corrections, are really kind invitations from our Jesus to something better? To be in His presence. To peace. To ease. To rest.

It changes everything. How will you RSVP to this invitation? I say yes, Lord, I am coming to you. I am ready to receive, accept and rest.

~Karna Atkinson